hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
