my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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