hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Randomize
