And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He shit in the fireplace
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize