sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
