My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
