Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
