i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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