My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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