I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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