just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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