Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
