i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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