yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
