i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
