You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
