hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
