Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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