I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
