Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
