butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
