3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
