Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I lost the right to judge tonight
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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