so let's talk penis.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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