Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
