There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
