There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
