we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
handjob tips. give me some.
this boner is exhausting
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
