You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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