she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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