I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
