I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
