i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
