I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
