the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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