You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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