I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
