Whod you bang
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
