I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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