yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
