why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
