just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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