could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize