Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
