butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
