just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
