just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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