my sisters under your porch take her home
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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