Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
