How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
