Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
