I'm really into asian looking animals
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
