I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
