Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
