I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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