well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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