This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
