"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
